Stop Abusing Your Followers! Monetize Your Blog The Right Way

There are few things about the internet that get me riled up anymore. Aren't we all now just a little jaded? I used to get bothered by the obscene amount of cats and grammar police who seem to take up so much space in cyberspace.

The cats - oh, the cats! Pictures of cats just being cats. Cat memes. "Happy Caturday Morning." Oh, you're just so fucking witty with "Caturday" that I can't help but snicker and pee a little.

Grammar Police. We get it, you can correctly identify the use of you're, your, their, they're, there, loose and lose. But please, for the love of everything holy, just GET OVER IT. I don't hate that someone used a word improperly; I hate that you feel you need to demonstrate your intelligence (read that as annoyance) in pointing it out to them. You are an ass hat. 

Okay, so maybe I'm not quite as forgiving on that one as I thought.

But here's the one we're going to talk about today... Abusing followers. Oh yes. Abusing. Your. Followers. Are you guilty of this? Click on "Read More" to find out - and fix it if you are.




I can handle Caturday, the Grammar Police, and the on-going debate in society about Star Wars versus Star Trek, but I cannot stand it when a website abuses their followers. It's tragic and, as a follower myself, I'm done with it.

As most of you know who read this blog - and not my other blog that has surprisingly less foul language - frustration or anger spurs me to writing here. A lot of what I write doesn't get published, but it's a therapeutic process for me to write it out. 

Let's stop and ponder that a moment - can you imagine what that shit is like if this stuff is making the cut and getting published? Let's all collectively shudder...

Now, I am not a blogging guru, social media maven or any other "qualified" type to give advice. I am a consumer, a blog reader, and a user of Pinterest, Twitter and Google+. And you should know that I'm done with being abused and I want to take back my Internet experience.

Let's identify problems by by platform, so that you can skip to your favorite one and find out if you know any abusers. I'm sure that Instagram is being abused, but for the life of me, I don't give a shit. 

When I come to your website, it should say:

But instead, we are being assaulted with pages like this:

The problem with all of these pop ups and ads and Facebook Like requests is that a user doesn't even get to experience your rockin' ramblings before they get so annoyed that they send your bounce rate stats into the high 60's or 70's. That's not good, by the way.

This abuse is becoming more prevalent among the mommy and lifestyle bloggers as more of us look to monetize our blogs, and I feel we need to take back our Internet! I'm not going to launch a Kickstarter campaign to fund a revolution, people, but let's try and make it a grass roots kind of change.

Instead of engaging every advertising partnership you can find or adding every plug-in or partner pop-up that's available, choose one thing at a time. You always want to test each new addition or advertising option to see if it's really going to be effective. 

Scale back. Add one. Poll your audience. Make changes. Repeat. 

Ask for and seek out advice on this stuff - the Internet is MORE than full of advice on how to monetize. :) And remember: just because it's a "blog money-making opportunity," doesn't mean it's the best option for your site and for your followers.

Notice this handy, dandy "Pinnable" graphic here (with a lot less foul language, I might add). 

I'm not subtle: Pin it, would ya? 

Oh my word, but there are so many ways to fuck up your followers with Twitter. I love Twitter, so let me just share my biggest pet peeves. 

Advertisements:

Let's say I stumble upon a Twitter profile that has a good tweet or is a recommended follow from the brilliant Twitter algorithm. I follow them and favorite a tweet or retweet something of theirs (proper fucking Twitter etiquette, people).

All stays right with the world until my timeline is FLOODED and I experience an absolute fucking deluge of advertisements from my newest Twitter bestie. I cannot un-fucking-follow you fast enough. Buh-bye and NO, don't fucking direct-message me about dropping you faster than a bad habit. I will not follow you back or even respond.

In general, if you don't know HOW or WHY your tweeps follow you, you don't know your audience, and you shouldn't be doing product promotion. For example: if you're a site that promotes crafts for the home using items from the Dollar Store, you don't start hawking a $6,000 fucking swing set (true story; unfollowed).

Shameless and ANNOYING Self-Promotion:

Let's say I stumble upon yet another seemingly acceptable tweep. I follow them (and favorite a tweet or retweet something of theirs).

Again, all is right with the world until all I see from them for a month are links to THEIR website (with maybe a few of those unbelievably stupid, information-gathering surveys about which fucking Disney character you'd be). It doesn't bother me that people take the surveys - you all know what they are really for, right? - it bothers me that they only use Twitter as a dumping ground (for their shit, auto-updates, or contests they've entered). Again, I cannot unfollow you fast enough. Buh-bye.

The general rule is that you share more of anything else than you share of your own stuff. I'm new to blog-promotion, but even I know that. If you really want to learn how to use Twitter, seek out my gal +Julie DeNeen who runs an excellent Social Media Boot Camp through +Fabulous Blogging. She's the real deal when it comes to social media! 

Auto-Posts from Blogger, WordPress or Facebook:

Turn.
Off.
The.
Auto.
Fucking.
Updates.

Twitter is a social platform - engagement is kind of the name of the game.

Do you think people give one hot shit that you are pushing a Christmas craft in March? Or a Mother's Day card in September? They do, but not for the reason you want. They are annoyed with you, and that's a bad thing when the "unfollow" button is so readily available. 

Engagement matters. In fact, go ahead and tweet this message below. I believe that it matters so much, I've made you a handy-dandy, easy-peasy "tweet this shit" message below. 

Just click on the text in the big, red box and it'll craft a poignant, relevant tweet for you.  

Just do it. This is peer pressure. Click on it, you know you want to. 

Engagement in social media is what KEEPS your followers.

If you are struggling with using Twitter, I urge you to talk to Fabulous Blogging. You will gain confidence in the tool, but more importantly, you will gain followers who WANT to engage with you and your content. 

Let's say you hate Twitter - oh, the horror! Who the fuck hates Twitter? 

Anyway, let's move to Pinterest - everyone loves Pinterest, don't they?

Let's say I stumble across a great Pin and follow you - 'cuz I'm awesome like that. After I follow you, I even re-Pin a couple of your Pins that appeal to me and my interests (proper fucking Pinterest etiquette). 

I am now eagerly awaiting your new Pins so that I might basque in your awesomeness and pretend that we're besties. And I'll also presume that we love to drink Merlot together. 

I'm your best fucking friend until I find out you are only pinning shit you've done at your site. 

Buh-bye. Unfollow.

Or, I'm your best fucking friend until I find out you're only pinning shit that you're hawking in your store.

Buh-bye. Unfollow.

Pin what interests you, what you find inventive, beautiful, helpful or weird. If you're genuine, it shows. The opposite is also true. 

The point? Even though everyone's Pinterest home page moves quickly, people notice.

This one is short and sweet. I fucking love G+ because it is a unique platform that doesn't throw shit at me that I'm not interested in. 

If that was too subtle, let me be clear: yes, that was a dig at Facebook.

Because I love G+, you shouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of me following you if your profile is full of only stuff from your own site. Nope. No way. No how.

Get with the ENGAGEMENT program, peeps! Remember the big, red box with the wickedly creative tweet that you tweeted earlier? 

Seriously - go back and tweet that. It will help to make the world a better place and shit and it will help to spread the word that we want our fucking Internet back. 

Also, if you are in a circle jerk - I mean, circle share - and you are only posting the same people's shit? Yeah, I'll probably unfollow you.

Why, you query? 

Get it? Query. Google. I know, I'm not very punny... 

Back to single-circle-share-sharing: why would I want to be engaged with the middle man? I'll go follow the peeps you're sharing and have their groovy bits streaming directly into my eyeballs without having to scroll down in a post to get to the original content. I'm busy (read that as I'm lazy).

Share, but diversify and share. Even if it's with "Happy Caturday" shit.

Or, you could share this. In fact, go ahead and share this with everyone. 

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